The diet game

So, I'm trying out a new diet. Maybe some of you know it, it's called the "Flat Belly Diet." Now before someone comes along and robs me of my masculinity, let me back up for a minute. For some time now, my girlfriend has been searching high and low for the right diet. Though I think she is extremly beautiful, she insists that dieting is the way to go.
After she settled on this newest diet, I decided I would provide some encouragement by challenging myself to follow the same routine she has to. That was my first mistake.
I'm only into the end of day one and already I can barely stomach the food substitutions that this diet passes off as food. However, according to the book's author, Liz Vaccariello, I'm supposed to lose anywhere from 10 to 15 pounds in 32 days. (Let's keep our fingers crossed).
Let me give you a breakdown of today's meals. According to the book, you are supposed to eat three meals and one snack. What the book doesn't tell you is that I would hardly call some of this stuff food.
In the morning I woke up extra early in order to make breakfast before going to work. Breakfast consisted of a small bowl of plain corn flakes (no sugar), half cup low-fat milk, two tablespoons of unsalted sun flower seeds and something called "sassy water."
From as near as I can tell, "sassy water" is what pond water would taste like if I decided to take a gulp. It consists of chopped cucumbers, lemon and something else I couldn't make out. AND you have to drink a whole pitcher of this crap by the end of the day for FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT!!!
Needless to say after my first glass, I wanted to puke.
For lunch, I had a piece of string cheese, 5 ounces of deli-style roasted turkey breast (no bread, so no sandwich) and 1 pint of cherry tomtatoes. I like tomatoes, but I can't stomach a whole pint of them.
I passed up lunch with the Manchester Chamber of Commerce for a plate of processed deli turkey breast and some tomatoes and another tall glass of "sassy water."
Around 3 p.m. I was supposed to eat my snack, but I decided, since I was working late tonight and wouldn't be home for dinner until bedtime, I decided to forego the snack until later. The snack consisted of frozen blueberries, a half glass of milk and another handful of sunflower seeds. Oh yeah, and another glass of "sassy water."
Wish me luck folks. I sure hope this diet is worth the cost of food and sanity. That double meat cheeseburger someone had for lunch today sure looks good.